I awake up with a lump in my throat after a night of a feeling a large heavy dog slept on my chest all night, though the only four-legged creatures in our house come for visits with family and friends. I breathe deeply to open the bottom lobes of my lungs refusing to give up or accept that I could become part of that nebulous group of 55+ adults contracting the recent plaque. I refuse to believe what I have is anything but seasonal allergies. Bottom line, I didn’t rest well last night. Stumbling around, I attempt to move through my Monday morning routine, faking normalcy with my head throbbing from pain in the frontal lobe. Coffee, please. With my movements my chest opens a bit and I grow more awake with my eyes wide open. Surely, I will snap out of these psychosomatic symptoms that come from all the media bombardment.
After contacting the powers that be, they determine a test for first responders is warranted. (My profession in mental health care affords me a free test.) As I pull into the testing road lined with yellow cones, I enter another world. Law officers move me slowly through the maze. A voice comes over my phone and before long, a healthcare professional with an aspirator, shield and full body PPE comes to my car window.
“Relax. Take a deep breath and slowly blow it ,” as he inserts the long thin instrument all the way to the back of my sinuses. Speaking from behind an aspiration mask, he warns, “Stay away from everyone as much as possible to reduce the spread and go to the ER if your breathing becomes labored. You will get your results in 48 hours.”
“Thank you for testing me, though I wouldn’t want to do it again.”
As I pull away, I am emotional. I know that others have thought they were fine and ended up succumbing to this silent killer. I have a grandbaby due any day, no more cooking family meals at my house, or weekly Sunday nights on the porch. This whole experience of quarantine and this fear of being positive for the virus is growing me in ways I never dreamed:
Little Bits of Quarantined Wisdom
- I eat out too much. I got out for lunch or dinner a few times per week, but the truth is I love to cook things my way. I have not real excuse except I grew lazy.
- I need more time outside and less time on the smartphone or watching a senseless series. Now that we know we need Vit D to fight this virus, we are making it a point to stop and go outside.
- Stop the complaining and all the negativity about the world around us because life is short. Appreciate the blessings of God.
- Hug those you love more often . Now that I can’t hug my family and friends, I want to more than ever and I know I took it for granted.
- Money and things are not important. When you are staring the end of life, you realize life poor would still be life.
My hope is my diagnosis will be negative and that I will get through this along with those I love most, and if I do, I am determined to live my remaining days to the fullest.